


Standing Safe

by sleepismyfriend



Category: Doctor Who (1963)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-14
Updated: 2010-03-14
Packaged: 2017-10-10 21:41:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/104609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepismyfriend/pseuds/sleepismyfriend
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She stood in his TARDIS, wishing for not the first time that she had never reentered it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Standing Safe

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Freeze Frame](https://archiveofourown.org/works/104606) by [sleepismyfriend](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepismyfriend/pseuds/sleepismyfriend). 



"Oh, hello there," Romana said, looking down with a smile. Sarah felt the lump in her throat catch, eying her son carefully as she remained rooted to the floor. Romana paid neither the Doctor nor Sarah the slightest bit of attention. "My, you are a cute one, aren't you?"

"Yes," Alex said, and Sarah felt the lump shrink.

"My name's Romana, but some people like to call me Fred." Romana tilted her head as she bent down. The Doctor looked to Sarah, trying to reassure her with a look that everything was all right. Romana wasn't someone that she needed to be cautious about. However, Sarah didn't feel reassured in the slightest, slightly teetering back and forth nervously with her arms crossed.

It didn't take Romana but a second to study Alex's features before straightening back up and looking to the Doctor, her hands on her hips. "Oh, well done, Doctor. Well done, indeed. I can just imagine what the High Council will say-"

"Could you give us a moment please? Show him around a bit?" The Doctor wasn't amused with Romana's smile. He didn't have to look at Sarah to know that she was shaking. "There is nowhere in this TARDIS that isn't completely safe."

"That's what you like to think, Doctor. But, I suppose I could be persuaded," Romana sighed. "How would you like to a tour, hmm? Planetarium? Or the gardens? There are some really pretty things in the gardens."

Romana offered her hand out, and Alex didn't accept it right away. He looked to Sarah, who remained expressionless, and then to the Doctor, and the Doctor nodded.

"It's alright." he touched Alex's shoulder as he walked past. His eyes caught Sarah's for only a moment as he spoke. "There is nothing to fear here."

Alex eventually took Romana's hand, and they were out of earshot before the Doctor spoke again. He sighed, running his hand through his mop of curls. "You've told him about me."

"Bits and pieces. I didn't really have a photograph or anything current to show him."

"Yes, well, I suppose it serves me right."

"He appears to know you now." Sarah wanted to acknowledge the immediate bond that they had once they had stepped onto the TARDIS. "I suppose that's important to his-"

"Yes." The Doctor bowed his head. "It didn't hurt him. I just gave him the tiniest inkling, touch and sight mostly. He has quite a good grasp on both considering he's never been properly introduced or anywhere near Gallifrey. I should have known something was amiss."

"What, that you knocked up a lowly human and left her?" Sarah's tone was biting, the anger obvious. The shaking was still in her hands, but she gripped them to keep them from showing. "Don't bother apologizing. I've done fine on my own."

'You haven't been alone. You've had Lavinia, Harry, Liz Shaw, and the Brigadier."

"Everyone, except for you."

"You have all of them looking out for you, Sarah. What's one more to add to the pile?"

"The one I wanted. The one with two hearts that I fell in love with." Sarah's eyes darkened, and she felt the flush of want radiate over her even though she was fairly sure she wanted to kick herself for it. "Regardless of what happened between us, I needed you, and you weren't around. Do you know how hard it was to carry to full-term?"

"Oh, yes. Hence why my people try to do it as little as possible biologically," the Doctor replied. "I must admit Liz Shaw is a fairly stealthy human being. Should have remembered that from before. Poking her nose in and asking all kinds of questions."

"She was the only real support I had through everything, one of the few who understood! I couldn't have made it without her!"

"Well then, I'm the lucky one, now aren't I? Because you are in fact, standing before me." He stared at her for a moment before feeling the TARDIS resonate around him. "I think she's glad that you're here."

"I really need to get Alex and go." Sarah was biting back tears at this point. Of all the stupid ideas she had thought of over the years, entering the TARDIS with Alex had to be one of the hardest, next to resisting the urge not to tackle the Doctor.

"What's your rush?" He leaned back, ankles crossed and his hands gripping the edge of the console. "You've seen the universe, Sarah. What's ten minutes standing still?"

"Depends on your definition of standing still. You've never been one to stand around for long. Obviously not, if you've found someone else."

"Who, Romana? I assure you. That relationship remains precisely platonic."

"It's none of my business. I've spent the last five years getting over this. It hurt, more than I could have thought possible, but I had something more important. I have Alexander, and he is more than the universe could ever offer me."

"Yes, he's a marvelous little boy, indeed. Looks like you."

"I suppose. Bits, really. Mostly the nose, which half the time I go back and forth on." Sarah tapped her nose, her voice lifting when it came to talking about her son. She took a step forward, awkwardly testing the space between them as a boundary of her own making. "But you were right about his curls, those all came from you."

"He's got your eyes." The Doctor's voice changed as well, going as soft and deep as Sarah remembered. "Never mind the rest, I can see you in them. There's no escaping that look. Believe me, I've tried."

Sarah paused, unsure of how or what she should respond with. She caught that spark in the Doctor's eyes, the one that made her fall in love, even before she had ever physically touched him. This was the moment in which she knew that she needed to be honest with herself, she needed to… "Sarah, thinking shouldn't be so hard when you're standing still and safe."

"Who said I was safe?" She found herself asking, even before the thought passed through her reasoning process.

"Who said you weren't? I'm not going to harm you."

"Right, I've heard that before. Obviously, you were wrong then, and you're wrong now."

"Am I? You've done all right, haven't you? Taken care of our young son? Raising him to be kind and courteous to all life? Filled his mind with curious notions that the people of this world, albeit a few, would never comprehend?"

"He's a lot like you." Sarah smiled for the first time, remembering the first time Alex had boldly asked Liz about something she was working on in her lab. He was three and a half years old and asking her why she had something cooking on a Bunsen burner. For the following three hours, Liz had patiently set the experiment aside to answer Alex as best as she could as he examined the experiment for himself. "Asks loads of questions, always looking for the right answers. I have to keep all eyes on him usually. He's going to be a brilliant scientific mind one day, and I couldn't be more proud of him."

"You've given him the best thing that my people could have never given him." The Doctor looked almost relieved, and it threw Sarah.

"Oh?"

"The freedom of knowledge. The chance to think, really think for one's own mind without society's harsh expectations clamping down. That's all I could ever want for any of my children, Sarah."

"So, you're not mad that you didn't know about him?" Sarah didn't expect that kind of answer from him, and found it hard to keep her voice in tact.

"No." The Doctor shook his head. "Because despite what you may think, Sarah Jane, I still care very much for you. If you didn't tell me, then you had a reason. And while I suspect that you've been rather hurt because of me, you wouldn't hurt me like that."

Sarah's breath caught as he stepped forward, closing the distance between them as his hand lifted to touch her cheek. Sarah closed her eyes at the light touch, fighting the sobs that threatened to come if she opened them. His other hand rose up, and suddenly he was holding both of her arms as her entire body had gone straight. "You've kept him safe. What more could I possibly want?"

She forced herself to open her eyes, even when she knew that it was likely that the outcome wasn't going to be very good. He was too close, his scent reinvigorating all five of her senses with an innate longing that she wanted to ignore.

"I don't know," Sarah stuttered, clenching and unclenching both of her fists. "Your appetite is more curious than most."

"Yes, I suppose so." The Doctor couldn't help but smile, one hand lifting again to stroke her cheek. Sarah closed her eyes once more, clamping them down as a single tear fell.

"I can't do this."

"When are you going to listen that I'm not going to hurt you?" The Doctor brushed the tear away, and then leaned down to kiss the corner of Sarah's mouth. He didn't linger, just pulled his head back up to look at her. Their height difference that had seemed so minor before then appeared rather major now as he bent his knees a little. "You believe me, don't you?"

"I don't know what to believe anymore. Five years ago, I thought I knew the Time Lord I fell in love with. I thought I'd be with him forever, face any villain than the universe could throw at us."

"I'm the same person, Sarah. Nothing's changed."

"I've changed. I'm not some bright-eyed naïve girl who's willing to jump. I've wanted you to come back. Everyday, I wanted you to come back for me and for Alex and take us away from here. Anywhere you wanted to go, we'd go. Just so long as we were with you."

"Alright, and I'm here. Just like you wanted."

"But there's someone else."

"She's a Time Lady, Sarah." The Doctor straightened. He knew that she wasn't going to ever truly understand what that meant, except that maybe she could, and he was hoping for the latter.

"One of your own then. Perfect."

"It's not-"

"What, not what I think? I may be human, but I do understand quite a few things about the universe. Including when a person ditches one person for someone else."

"Sarah, you may be the mother of my child and one of the most beautiful and stubborn humans I've ever met, but jealously certainly doesn't suit you," he smiled, trying not to take offense. "Romana isn't you, and she never will be. There is only one Sarah Jane in my mind."

One hand had never left her cheek, while the other came up to join it. His voice went lower, just above a whisper. "I am sorry."

"So am I," Sarah whispered back, looking into his eyes, despite the risks. She could only manage for a second as her palms slid up his sides, and she leaned forward, touching her forehead to his chest. He then planted a kiss in her hair before wrapping his arms around her and leaning his head against hers. Sarah wasn't the only one dealing with her five senses, a fact that the Doctor was attempting to keep under control.

He thought about Romana for a moment, and gently pushed a thought her way that he hoped she would understand. He knew that they would more than likely talk about it later, and he really didn't care what her opinion was on the matter. However, now was not the right time for either her nor Alex to walk in, he reasoned.

Not when he had Sarah in his arms for the first time in forever, and she wasn't screaming about what he had done. That decision was his and his alone to make, and he wasn't going to rehash it again. Not when so many good things were currently in front of him.

Gallifrey be damned.

Sarah's head shifted, and the Doctor felt her plant a kiss on the inside of the right side of his neck as she snuggled in closer to him. His neck tasted the same as she remembered, a tinge of cool alien texture against the TARDIS's normal scent that more than often clung to him.

"I don't want to forgive you, you know," she said, a devious smile on the edge of her lips. "And I still might not."

"If that's what you want. And then, I may not have enough room for you in my TARDIS. She is getting rather cramped for space with two Time Lords, you know."

"You mean, Time Lords and their egos. I bet your egos don't even fit into the arboretum, do they? I imagine they compete for attention. Especially since she's a Time Lady and not one of you stuffy lot."

"Stuffy?" The Doctor pulled back. "Now, just wait a minute. I do not get stuffy, Sarah Jane. If anything, I'm slightly bemused and eccentric, but never stuffy!"

"Oh, he's stuffy, alright. Don't let him kid you." Romana leaned up against one of the walls leading out of the console room. Alex was standing nearby, looking around. "He wanted to know how his Mum was. Couldn't resist him if I tried. He practically found his way here on his own! I certainly didn't help!"

"That's my boy," the Doctor grinned. "You know precisely where you're going, don't you, Alexander?"

Alex nodded his head, pulling away from Romana. Sarah and the Doctor gave enough space for him to fit between them, making them a rather nice picture indeed. Sarah touched the top of his head, smiling as Alex looked up at her.

Nothing needed to be said as the three turned towards the exit of the TARDIS. The arm that was around Sarah's shoulders at this point moved down to wrap around her waist.

"Doctor, do you think it's wise that we're here? Surely, the Time Lords know by now-"

"Romana, eh, find something useful to do, will you?" He looked over his shoulder, turning slightly when she responded.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Yes, I said useful." The Doctor's eyebrows lifted. "Standing there with your mouth open as I exit isn't really dignified. It's rather stuffy, if you ask me."

Sarah did her best not to laugh as the three walked towards the exit, Alex leading the way.


End file.
